You dont understand, and never ever will.

POSTED ON: Wednesday, July 20, 2011 @ 7:03 PM | 0 comments

GUESS WHO I SAW TODAY?
maybe you wont recognise, or dont know him.
BUT... i know him. HAHAHA, and idk why,
but somehow his name just popped into my mind when i saw him.

#OMFGLIKESERIOUSLYNOTKIDDINGYOU
HE IS SO TALL AND HANDSOME AND LIKE PERFECT.
LOLOLOL.
i was like doing my hair in the salon, then theres 3 person outside the shop talking and talking.
Then i heard a guy voice, like so ...... so .... ok , nevermind.
The voice just attracted me lah ok, so i turn and saw him standing outside the shop.
wahzxcpiangzxc. #sggothandsomeguy
if my hair isnt in a mess right, i confirm jump up the seat take picture already loh.
even though using my lousy bb camera.
CAUSE MY DIGICAM NO BATTERY T_T NEVER BRINGGGGG!! GRRRRRRR*
When watching him on tv, it feel like nothing.
but seeing him today, got FHWEELING ok. hahhahah.
Ok, anyway... Was like freaking freaking late today-.-
wanted to skip class, but ly and matt like want go.
ok,actually ly also dont want go. HAHAHA.
I was suppose t meet her at 920, get on the train latest by 930,
reach yck at 10, and spend 10mins walking to school,
reach my class at 1010 ON THE DOT.
BUTTTTTTTTTTT, ly woke up late and i was late as well. #takingforevertoprepare
so i went out late, she reach even later than me, anddddd matt even even later.
LOLOLOL. and we took a cab to school-.-
Class start at 1010 right? we were still waiting for taxi at 1025. #socoolandhiongsia.
ACTUALLY REALLY DONT WANT GO LIAO LOH.
But then at that very moment, got taxi liao worhzxczxcxzc.
NO CHOICE:( go school... reached at 1045-.-
and.... received a very very very very very very BAD news.
Teacher say.... we were late for too long, he already mark us as absent in the system.
#COOLORWHATSHIT??
shouldnt have waste money on taxi right? Rush there then no attendance.
AND HE WASNT EVEN TEACHING, WE WERE DOING OUR OWN STUFF.
Should have slept at home instead. #Screwmylife.
And sometimes, i really really wonder.. what does others think of me?
Do they think that im some boring shit?
Think that im some ugly fat girl?
Think that im not worth their time?
Think that im unfriendly?
Think that im crazy?
Think that im noisy?!?
Think that im some emo shit?
OR.. I had never ever cross anyone's mind before.
Not even worth remembering..
Not even worth 0.00000000001 seconds.
Thats so sad, so fucking sad. T_T
And how do i ever thank my friends who message and reply me as and when they like?
They make me feel oh-so-awesome whenever they do this to me.
AM I NOT EVEN WORTH A MIN OF YOUR TIME TO AT LEAST REPLY ME?
You can at least reply the following:
"OK"
"Youre boring, nothing t talk to. bye"
"kthxbye"
"Im done using you, bye"
"k"
"BB"
"haha, ok"
"busy at the moment, ttyl"
"Y U SO BORING? NO FUN TALK T YOU!!"
"..."
"lol"
":)"
"*blank message*"
At least give me a reply?
I would always always reply the person till our conversation end.
Unless you really piss the shit out of me, then i would stop replying to you lah.
But seriously? It really hurt me so much.
I feel so... used.
.... got phone like no phone like that.
Might as well dont get a phone right?
Thats what i always think to myself.
ALWAYS. my phone is so dead, it wont even ring for days.
and, when does it ring??
Eg:
when my friend got no money, and i happens t owe them. ("Can return me money?")
they are bored and have no one to accompany them and doesnt want t go home.
("Want go kbox anot?")("Free? come meet me leh?")
*in some awkward situation* (Sms me random shit like*"Hi. im hungry.")("Hi. how're you")
And its always this happening.
or when they need a listening ear, people to listen to them rant, and the person they always talk to happens to be busy or what. then this is the time when my phone rings.
Thankyouverymuch.
I really think i should just terminate my line.
People who need to find me, they will find ways...
At least, i hope... they will...
God, but why is it that. All the people i thought was my #BFF would never treat me as one.
Why is it that, i was never the first person they share their joy and tears with?
Why is it that, i dont feel needed by anyone of them.
Why is it that, i need them more than they need me.
Why is it that, they seem to be able to live wo me.
Why is it that, i am always their last choice.
Why is it that, i can never be someone priority.
Why is it that, i wasnt born pretty?
Why is it that, i wanst born rich?
Why am i not smart?
Why is that i am not what i wished i was.
Why am i not born with some amazing talent since im not pretty.
I thought they say" God is fair?"
Why. Why. Why.
Why am i like this?
Why is it that.. i cant seem to meet the right one.
The one who will make me their priority, the one whom i will first share my tears and joy with,
the one who will always be there for me.
the one...
All i wanted was just a friend i could rely on.
A friend.. who is true to me.
Is it so difficult to make my wish come true?
There's so many people in this fucking world.
And is it just so difficult for me to meet that very one?
yes, its that difficult.


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Let me go.